HOW TO GET

WHAT YOU REALLY WANT

FOR CHRISTMAS

A GUIDE FOR THE CYCLIST WHO HAS EVERYTHING

This Christmas, spare a thought for the people less fortunate than you… your loved-ones.

Why? Because they have to buy a gift for a bloody cyclist! We’re impossible to please. We’re picky, we’re choosey, and we’re fussy. We’re awful!

If your loved-one is a cyclist themselves, the only advantage this serves is that they’ll go into the gifting process knowing how likely they are to miss the target.

Even if they hit the target and get you something like a nice jersey – it probably won’t fit! Then there’s all the hassle of asking where they got it and trying to sort an exchange – IF the shop has your size in stock AND the company is still trading come Boxing day.

“Feigning joy and surprise at the gifts we despise.”

Chances are you’ve got a mountain of unused cycling-related gifts accumulated from well-meaning loved-ones who just don’t get it; trouser clips, high-vis jumpers, 20 puncture repair kits, ill-fitting Aldi and Lidl middle-aisle specials, waterproof saddle covers, non-waterproof saddle covers, a bottle that doesn’t fit in any bottle-cages, lights that only fit schrader valves, boil in the bag one-size-fits-all jackets, snappy high-vis things that nobody’s quite sure what purpose they serve… the list goes on.

And what do you do upon receipt of your unwanted pressie? You bury the dread of disappointing your gifter, you smile and say thank you – because you’re a cyclist – and you’re a nice person.

BUT WAIT… THERE’S HOPE…

Now imagine all of that performance anxiety gone! Imagine the feeling of relief when your significant other hands you an envelope that doesn’t look like a wrapped track pump (you already own two). You open it to a sudden wave of excitement, hope and wonder. A beaming smile cracks across your face with the realisation that in your hand, you’re holding a
HOTCHILLEE GIFT VOUCHER!!!

That’s all well and good – but how do you politely ask for what you want this Christmas? Well – you can’t. So we’ve created this handy hint dropper for you.